When we are young, we used to think nothing can hurt us. We are used to being loved. Love let us go when we get older. We come to realize that nothing is easy. We get easily hurt by the slightest things. How do we relieve anger? To walk away or not. Why do we sometimes stand alone with no one by our side?
sixteen.
Sixteen months long. That is how long since i have last seen you, mother. Today many of my friends are celebrating mother’s day. Everyone wishing their mom, thanking them and buying gifts for their beloved mom. Im jealous of them. I want to feel what its like to have a mother again. I miss you. I really do. I miss having you in my life. I miss hearing the sound of your voice. I miss your presence in the house.I still wish you are here to watch me grow. Teach me the right from wrong. Motivate me when im down. I really wish i can rewind the time so that I can see you for one last time to tell you how much i miss you. Ask for your forgiveness for not being a better son. To tell you how much i love you and how much you mean a lot to me. i have not forgotten you and i never will. Thank you for bringing me up, being such a patient mother and giving your very best up to your last dying breath. Happy mother’s day.
Sixteen months on so many things changed but there is one fact that remain the same. I love you, mom.
im digging their new song Between the lines. It keeps on repeating in my head over and over and over and over and over again.
www.myspace.com/theghostinside
Always Running, Never Looking Back
This may read like an epitaph, a commemorative telling on my behalf. But before this thing gets dated and printed, we’re going to need a few more witnesses. My eyes are weak, so I could never focus on decisions that have left me hopeless. I’ve chiseled my initials in the shovel that I’ve been using to dig my own hole. Driving faster in the wrong direction, convincing them this was expected. I’ve lost my mirrors through the crashes, so looking back just can’t happen. Living up to how we feel about ourselves: one foot in the grave; one foot in our mouths. When you hear those sirens, just know that they’re for us. You’ll never know who we are by the mark on our sleeve, in the shape of a heart that never could beat.
When i was young, i used to cry a lot. Sometimes i dont even know what i am crying for. I was such an emotional 5 year old kid who is very sensitive. The world is such a lonely place.
We hide underneath a mask, too afraid to show who we really are. Too scared of the truth. Sick of reality. We are imperfect, we are humans. And every single day, we live in denial. That is the truth that we can never change. That is what makes this world.
Although I am sitting here beside you, Im writing this out of your knowledge. I wanna let the whole world know how beautiful these past 7 weeks have been with you in the picture. Your presence alone, it changes the everything. Nights with you, always a moment to remember. All I need is you by my side, and everything would be alright. Nothing else would matter, even after a stormy day, you can change the whole climate and make it go away. Thank you for being here with me. You know how much I feel about you. <3
Nothing is concrete yet as for now. In the next few weeks i hope to get to know you better, to understand you better and i am hopeful of this. I am confident of going through this phase. I feel the comfort when you’re around me, and i hope likewise for you too :) I miss you amy.
